C12 Dear qingming

"My dear Qingming, please forgive me for calling you that. I don't know how you will feel when you open this letter and read my familiar handwriting, but I can tell you that when I write this letter, my emotions are so agitated that I have to drink two glasses of water to calm my nerves.

Dear Qingming, I have lost your information for so long. I am afraid that I will lose you forever, and that you will disappear from my world forever. Today, when I first found out where you were, my heart almost jumped out of my chest. I was so anxious to talk to you, even if it was just me, always talking to myself on the paper, even if you didn't respond, at the very least I knew that you were at the other end of this thin piece of paper. At the very least, I knew where you were and what you were doing.

The last time I met Wu Xiong at the restaurant, I knew you might not forgive me anymore, but I still want to tell you my story, tell you my story, even if you hate me or think it's boring, please finish what I've said, and take it as my last request to you.

That year, when you came for an internship, I fell in love with you almost at first glance. Such an arrogant you, standing there with such talent, I still can't forget. From the moment I fell in love with you, I never regretted it.

At that time, I was very happy, because I felt that you also had good feelings towards me. I was actually a very sensitive person, and I can more or less feel your feelings.

All the sadness actually happened on that night, when you came back from dinner with the people from the Writers' Association, and we went for a walk together. You took my hand, and for a moment I felt extremely happy, but while I was immersed in this happiness, you actually let go of my hand and walked forward alone. I felt extremely wronged, thinking that you were also dating Liu Fengqin, I thought, you must have thought of Liu Fengqin, which was why you let go of my hand. Originally, I was in high spirits, as if I fell into an ice cave, I cried, but you didn't turn around, I think, you must have regretted holding my hand. Since you like Liu Fengqin, why bother with me? I wiped my eyes and told myself that since you like other people, I shouldn't think too much about it myself. That's why I've been avoiding you ever since, because I'm afraid I won't be able to control myself and will still disturb you.

At that time, Wu Xiong was also pursuing me. He often came to me and chatted with me. I was a very simple girl at the time, and I didn't know how to reject him. Then one day, he suddenly came to me and asked me if I wanted to go with him, since my home was here and I didn't like him, so he told me that it was impossible. He asked why, and I told him that the person I liked was Shen Qingming. At that time, he had left with a sense of loneliness.

Later on, I found out that all of you had to return early. You didn't say a word to me. I was very upset. I wanted to forget you, but I couldn't do it. At that time, my parents started to get divorced, my father had an affair, my mother also had an affair, it was very funny, I also thought it was very funny, the family that lived for so many years suddenly became just me, my dad ran away with other women, my mom ran away with other men, no one wanted me to go, when I curled up in my own house, which was once full of warm laughter, but now became cold, I felt that I had lost all my courage to live.

When Wu Xiong came, he said that he had been paying attention to me. He said that he loved me and that you and Liu Fengqin were together. After graduation, you would get married. Back then, I was too depressed to eat or drink, so he bought me some food and wine, saying that it would make me feel better if I just drank some wine. Back then, how could I understand the complexity of society, thinking that he was really just being kind, I drank some wine, and it was this bottle of wine that formed the greatest regret of my life.

Wu Xiong raped me when I was drunk. When I came to, I took a knife and cut my wrist, because I really didn't know how to live anymore. His father was gone, his mother was gone, his home was gone, his loved one was lost, and now even his innocence had been lost. What was the point of living?

Wu Xiong knelt down in front of me and slapped himself in the face. He said that he loved me so much that he couldn't control himself for a moment. He said he would be responsible for me, that he would let me finish high school and go to college, and that he would take care of me all the time. After sitting there all day and eating porridge, Wu Xiong was overjoyed and thought I had forgiven him. How could I possibly forgive him for ruining me so completely? But I don't think I can die. I haven't even seen you for the last time, so how can I be willing to die like this? So I used the money Wu Xiong gave me to go to my third year and then went to the same university as you did. I thought that if I kept pursuing things like this, maybe I could really find a taste that belonged to you and maybe I could really meet you again.

After that, Wu Xiong's business grew bigger and bigger, always running around outside, and I also haven't been able to find you. I thought, maybe you really did go out with Liu Fengqin to explore the world like Wu Xiong said, my heart hurt a lot, but at this time, I had already lost the courage to kill myself, so I used alcohol to numb myself every day. Until the day I met you at the roadside stall.

Qingming, do you know how excited I was at that time? I almost thought that God had given me a miracle. When I said that the dorm room was noisy, I didn't live there anymore. I lived in a house that Wu Xiong sold me, and since I met you, I really wanted to get rid of Wu Xiong, so I lied to you and moved into your house.

Qing Ming, those were the happiest and happiest days of my life. At that time, I almost thought that I was still the pure and innocent Qin Wenjun of the past. I came across you here and we continued our previous relationship.

I couldn't sleep every night because I was afraid it would be a beautiful dream, and I was more worried that one day I wouldn't do well enough and that God would wake me up from my dream and splash cold water on me in the winter and catch me off guard. So I got up and prayed that God would be merciful enough to give me more of this happiness.

When you talked about working with Liu Yufeng that day, my heart skipped a few beats. Wu Xiong often mentioned Liu Yufeng, and I knew that they had relationships with each other. Qingming, do you know? I was so scared that my hands were trembling. I thought, the heavens are coming to take back my good days. I was thinking that I should hurry up and bring you home so that I wouldn't appear outside so that they wouldn't see me, but in the end, they were still inferior to Heaven's will. Before we could leave, Liu Yufeng came, and then Wu Xiong also came.

That day when I rushed out of the restaurant door, I was pulled into the car by Wu Xiong. He dragged me back to the house and brutally ravaged me. Wu Xiong threatened me, saying that if I died, he would let you accompany me in death. He was a bastard, and even though I knew where my weakness lay, I could not bear to part with you. Wu Xiong kept a close eye on me, so I pretended to be gentle and obedient, waiting for an opportunity. Later, he slowly began to believe me. I didn't want to remember the pain and humiliation in the process.

Then I found out about his drug trafficking and put him in jail myself. I hated him. He's the one who ruined me, so I'm going to destroy him as well. Now that Wu Xiong was in prison, I was finally free. I spent a lot of money hiring people to find out about you, and I finally found your address. Qingming, you can't forgive me, but I don't want you to misunderstand me. I love you. "

When Shen Qingming finished reading the letter, he found that, unknowingly, tears were streaming down his face.