C24 The Price of Growing up

I walked along the streets of the city with my luggage, and it took me a long time to find a stone bench in a square for me to rest on.

I placed my luggage on one side of the stone bench, lit a cigarette, and sat down. As I looked at the neon lights that were attached to the tall buildings, a sense of panic welled up in my heart. I didn't know where to go.

I hurriedly avoided the light and shadow of the city. I raised my head and looked at the sky, searching for the "Sky City" that had been stripped from my body.

At some point, a group of square dancing aunties with fans had appeared in the square. The music drowned me, and I couldn't see the "Sky City" clearly in my suffocation. Perhaps it had been hidden behind the moon, or perhaps it had already been blown away by the passing wind...

But this night, I have to find a place to rest in this city.

I took out my phone from my pocket and dialed Luo Ben's number. He lives near the train station, and since I am going to take the train to the Heng Dien Town tomorrow, I might as well stay at his place for the night.

Amidst the noise, Luo Ben picked up the phone. "Zhao Yang, are you looking for me for something?"

"He's still performing at the bar?"

"Yeah, it's almost time for our band."

"Oh... Um, I want to stay at your place for the night, is that convenient?"

Luo Ben smiled and said, "What's inconvenient about it? Come to the bar now. Let's go back together after I get off work."

"I'll go directly to where you live. I won't go to the bar."

"Come, come. I'll treat you to a drink. I still have a few tickets here."

"I really don't want to go." After saying that, I hung up the phone and left the question of why I'm not going to Luo Ben.

After leaving the square, I directly took a taxi to Luo Ben's residence. Seeing that it was still early, I went to the train station to buy a train ticket from Suzhou to Yigu the next morning.

...

It was almost 12 o'clock at night when Luo Ben returned from the bar. I had already fallen asleep leaning against my luggage in the corridor.

Luo Ben patted me awake and said in a complaining tone, "Kid, you have changed your character recently! You're not willing to go to the bar, so you'd rather sleep in the corridor and wait like a fool! "

I just smiled and didn't say anything.

Luo Ben opened the door and asked me, "You moved?"

"Yeah, I haven't found a suitable house yet. I still have a business trip to Heng Dien Town tomorrow, so I might as well spend the night with you!"

"You can stay as long as you want!" After saying that, he looked at the luggage on the ground and asked, "Where's that awesome guitar of yours?"

I felt depressed. After all, it was a guitar that had accompanied me for several years. However, I said to Luo Ben as if nothing had happened, "Take it to pay off the debt!"

Luo Ben widened his eyes and sighed. "Pay the debt? How miserable are you? I used to play with you a few times in the past, but you didn't lend me the guitar as if it was a treasure. You actually used it to pay off the debt!"

"Don't mention this. Help me move my luggage in."

...

Luo Ben lived in the penthouse on the top floor. There was only a narrow room. There was a balcony behind the room. There was a bathroom and a rope used by many people on the balcony. The living environment was not good.

He turned on the light and saw a few leather jackets hanging on the clothes rack. There was a guitar in the corner, and there were a few pairs of Martin shoes on the shoe rack. There were also a few boxes, and there were no extra decorations. Other than the beer cans scattered all over the table, it was not too messy.

After putting his luggage away, Luo Ben took out two barrels of instant noodles from some box and soaked a barrel of instant noodles for himself and me.

After a short while, the instant noodles box that they had already finished was placed on the abandoned flower pot under the balcony. Next to them were a few cans of beer and they sat on the guardrail of the balcony.

After ripping apart a can of beer, Luo Ben and I bumped into each other. We raised our heads and drank half of the beer in an instant.

"Zhao Yang, I see that you've been quite depressed recently. What kind of blow have you suffered that you're not even going to the bar?"

"I live a free and unconstrained life. What kind of blow can I receive?" As I spoke, I drank the remaining beer in the can in one gulp, but stared blankly into the distance.

In the distance, the lights on the enormous billboard of Maxwell were still flashing in the middle of the night.

Luo Ben did not pursue the matter and followed my gaze to look into the distance. After a long time, he patted me on the shoulder as if he had experienced it himself. We are all people at the edge of this city who are struggling. Some of the pain is interlinked, but there is no need to explain it too clearly.

The wind whistled past us, bringing with it the coldness of the night. Luo Ben and I were still sitting on the fence, looking around and drinking another can of beer.

In a quiet night, people always think more. Luo Ben seemed to have thought of someone and tore open another can of beer. I stopped him. It's not good to drink too much. Yesterday, I almost jumped into the moat because I drank too much.

"You miss women?" I smiled and asked Luo Ben.

"Yeah, I just want to drink some wine." Luo Ben said straightforwardly.

I know Luo Ben once had a very loving girlfriend. I pushed him and said, "Do you still have photos of your girlfriend? Take it out and take a look."

Luo Ben took out a wallet from his pocket and took out a photo from the compartment. He handed it to me. I saw the woman in the photo with the light from afar. She had good facial features and was a very intellectual and charismatic woman.

Luo Ben was a little absent-minded. After a long time, he said to me, "We have been separated for almost three years. She should be married now, right?"

"Why did you split up?"

Luo Ben smiled sadly. "She was born in a teacher's family. Her parents were all university professors and were educated. I was a music player and did not have a stable income. I lived day by day and did not want to delay her."

"So you carried her from Beijing to Suzhou?"

Luo Ben nodded and said after a long time, "Actually, she chased us to Suzhou and we lived together for half a year..."

"Then why did you break up with her?" I asked in confusion.

"Her parents looked for me and told me that they had already arranged a job for her at a university in Beijing. They told me to let her go back to Beijing."

"You little fool really let her go?"

Luo Ben nodded. "I let her go. I told her I have another woman."

"Can she believe me?"

Luo Ben smiled and said, "She definitely won't believe me..."

"Then...?"

"I found a young lady in this house, right in front of her... " Luo Ben did not continue speaking. He still had a smile on his face. However, under this kind of smile, what I saw was a dead heart.

I sighed heavily and said, "Why do you have to go so far?"

"If I didn't do so, she wouldn't have left. It's better to have a short period of pain than a long period of pain..." Luo Ben raised his head and drank the beer in the can. A portion of the alcohol flowed down his neck and into his clothes.

I was silent. Although Luo Ben said it casually, I saw a heart-wrenching love in my helplessness. I knew that Luo Ben would never forget that woman in his life.

"Don't talk about me. Show me your girlfriend's photo too." Luo Ben also pushed me and said.

I also took out Jian Wei's photo from the wallet and gave it to Luo Ben. Actually, we are not willing to forget about the past because it is too precious!

There wasn't enough light from the other side. Luo Ben lit up the lighter and used the burning flame to look at Jian Wei in the photo.

"Your girlfriend is beautiful, not just any ordinary beauty!"

When I heard the word beautiful, the face of my female tenant suddenly appeared in my mind. But this did not surprise me, because in my life, I have never seen a woman more beautiful than Mi Cai. In just a moment, I returned to reality. Taking advantage of the flame that had yet to extinguish, I looked at Jian Wei's familiar yet unfamiliar face in the photo. My heart ached. I thought, Not long later, she will also marry Xiang Chen.

Luo Ben returned Jian Wei's photo to me and asked, "What about you guys? Why did you guys break up?"

I thought about it and said after a long time, "One year after she went to America, she called me and proposed to break up with me."

"Why did she break up with you?" Luo Ben asked.

"I don't know. She didn't tell me." I replied with the same smile as Luo Ben.

"You didn't ask?"

I nodded. I didn't ask why Jian Wei wanted to break up with me. Because I felt that if Jian Wei wanted to say that she didn't need me to ask, she would tell me. Perhaps my subconscious didn't believe that we would be able to walk to the end. There would eventually be a day when we would break up. And what can you do if you ask for a result for something within your expectations?

"Aren't you afraid that there will be some misunderstanding between the two of you?" Luo Ben reminded me.

I was stunned. "What misunderstanding could there be? Love is just a passing cloud, let's not talk about this anymore! Go and bring the guitar over, let's play a song and forget about all that nonsense! "

Luo Ben took the guitar from the house and tested the sound before asking me, "Do you want to use your KEY or my KEY?"

"Whatever."

Luo Ben strummed the guitar and a melody drifted in the night sky. It was Li Zongsheng's Price of Love.

"... Let's go. Let's go. People have to learn to grow up. Let's go, let's go. Life can't be avoided from suffering and struggling. Let's go, let's go, find a home for our hearts. It was also the price of love. Perhaps I will still think of her occasionally, and sometimes I will inevitably think of her. Just think of him as an old friend, and also make my heart ache. It also makes me worry about him. It's just that there are no more sparks in my heart. Let bygones be bygones... "

The song drifted out of our mouths, filled with vicissitudes of life. But I don't know if the price of love is just sadness, tears, sadness and heartbreak, but I know that the price of growing up is the love that has passed away in the flow of time.

In this night that I should have seen through, in the end, I still feel regret for my lost love, regret for Luo Ben and that girl from Beijing whose name I don't know!

...

The next morning, I boarded the train heading in the direction of Yigu. After arriving at the Yi Wu, I still have to change the train to the Heng Dien Town. I know what I should do for myself. If Le Yao can promise to come back and help GUCI shoot the promotional poster for its opening, my career will welcome the first progress in my life.

After being promoted to the team leader of the proposal team, my monthly salary will also be over ten thousand. Perhaps my life will be stable.

Sitting on the train to the south, I said to myself for the first time, "Work hard, Zhao Yang! Don't let anyone look down on you anymore!"