C9 Chapter 9

It was a long time before Elisabet was able to speak. Meanwhile, she absentmindedly studied Vemund’s face quite closely and was quite shocked at the deep sense of rapport, of just the two of them being together, that she suddenly felt. Now his face was naked, open and sincere. His eyes were filled with tears that she did not feel were the least unmanly, and there was a bitter expression around his mouth. He was so appealing that she felt quite dizzy, almost hypnotized, wanting to kiss away his tears. With a great effort, she managed to pull herself together.

“What are you saying?” she whispered, shocked. “Is her fiancé, Bubi, still alive?”

“So you also know that? His name as well?” Vemund said agitatedly.

“If that’s the case, why doesn’t he come? What sort of a boor is he, letting a poor woman suffer like that? Or have you turned him into a cripple?”

“No, not at all! He’s doing damned well.”

Elisabet was angry now: “Well, what is it then that you’ve done to Karin?”

“That’s none of your business,” he said, holding her arm in a firm grip.

“Yes, it is! Karin is my business and so are you!”

“Stop screaming! Relax!” Vemund said.

“I want to know! I’m sick and tired of all these hints. You want to force me into a marriage with your own brother. What has Lillebror got to do with all this?” Elisabet asked.

“Just about as much as me. Except that he knows nothing and he’s not supposed to either. He needs to get away from here!”

“And you must die?” Elisabet asked.

“I’ve never wished it so little as today. But tomorrow my feeling of disgust will hit me again. Elisabet, I’m drunk, I’ve talked too much and you know too much. Forget it all, it’s drunken nonsense.”

“Your thoughts are remarkably sober. And take your hand away from my hair. Do you think I’m made of stone?”

Vemund said: “What do you mean? Stop acting stupid. I’ve had too much to drink and I instinctively feel that I’m no longer responsible for my actions. Which is what I want to be. For your sake.”

“What actions?” Elisabet asked.

“Elisabet,” Vemund groaned. “Get up.”

“You’re a riddle to me. What have I done wrong?”

Then Vemund pulled her down hard, drawing her close, and kissed her on the mouth. Brutally and hungrily. Surprised at first, she stiffened like a pillar of salt, while discomfort and then an intense, almost unbearable sense of warmth spread all over her. When his hand forced its way inside her dress, searching for her breasts, she yelled and tried to break loose. Vemund quickly leaned up on his elbow, turning her so that she lay on her back under him. He placed his hand over her abdomen. Elisabet was shocked and screamed, fighting like a wild cat. At that very moment, Vemund felt the side-effects of his drinking. He moaned and relaxed his hold. As adroit as a cat, she broke loose and got to her feet. Vemund was lying on the bed but still with a firm grip on her hand.

“Elisabet,” he muttered. “Forgive me! The damned booze! I’m all confused. I hardly dare make a move ... Forgive me, my dear friend, you didn’t deserve that. I didn’t intend to hurt you, I’m not myself at the moment!”

“I’m leaving now, Vemund,” Elisabet whispered, trembling all over.

“I’m awfully sorry. It shouldn’t have ended in this way.”

“Let’s forget it.”

“Yes,” he said in a bitter tone of voice. “Let’s forget it.”

Elisabet said: “I want to talk to you when you’re sober. And Vemund ... You mustn’t do anything stupid. I need you!”

He laughed in despair. “Need me! You’re awfully sweet, Elisabet. I’ll drop by tomorrow. If I can stand on my two legs.”

She thought she had detected a slight hint of happiness in his tired voice. As if he had been given something to look forward to. ...

She blew out all the lights on her way out, closing the door after her. It was a cold autumn night but Elisabet did not feel it. Her body glowed and her cheeks were burning. She virtually staggered down the path by the light of the twinkling stars.

“Thank you, God,” she whispered towards the stars. “Thanks for booze. If it hadn’t broken him, I wouldn’t have been able to resist him. Despite his bad breath!” On the other hand, Vemund would hardly have touched her if he had not been drunk.

In a somewhat intricate way of thinking, Elisabet whispered: “Thank you again.”

As she walked down the path among the trees, she thought: my God, what’s happening with my body? It was only now that she realized that she was one of the hot-blooded women of the Ice People, those who could not control their longing for the one they loved.

I’ve been fast asleep for a long time, she thought aloud. I’ve slept through many a winter and spring. The desire that Vemund had aroused was tearing at her. She stopped and leaned against a tree, moaning softly and cursing that drunken fool. “He was so abhorrent,” she whimpered to herself. “A horrible devil, a roughneck, a rascal! Touching me with his filthy fingers, breathing right into my face so that I could smell his boozy breath! Kissing me as if I was ...”

She breathed more heavily. Kissing me? That kiss! Once again, she felt a sweet warmth taking over. Once again, she saw his eyes, brimming with tears before her, the naked face, his despair ...

His hands ...

Elisabet turned resolutely towards the tree, pressing her body against it, feeling how the titillating sensation increased. She moaned, pressed her thighs together, rubbing herself up against the tree without finding relief from her pain. She saw Vemund before her mind’s eye, felt his arms around her, his body against hers ... She did not have to think any more because the entire countryside whirled around and disappeared before her, and everything became so absolutely wonderful that she thought she was about to die!

Afterwards she woke up sitting with her back against the tree on the cold ground where she had collapsed when her legs could no longer support her. Good heavens, what have I done, she thought, horrified. I’ve heard about the passionate women of the Ice People but that I ...?

She got to her feet, feeling guilty. She brushed her dress clean with trembling hands. Oh, God, I do feel so ashamed! Oh, God, oh, God!

The excitement loosened its grip. She breathed out. Actually, it had been quite wonderful and besides, nobody had been there to see it.

She began to walk again. There’s one thing I know: it’s Vemund I want! Him and nobody else! I don’t want Lillebror, no matter how extremely handsome he is! We have nothing in common, we’re strangers to one another. Whereas Vemund and I ... We get on like a house on fire! I must help Vemund. He mustn’t be allowed to die, he’s mine and I’ll do everything to win him. But in order to get there, I must free him of his fixation on death and the way to this goal lies through Karin. I must know why he wants to die and what happened that time. I can’t ask him because he’ll never answer. Making him speak about it would be too much for him. I can’t ask Karin either because I’m not supposed to jog her memory. Now that she finally has the opportunity to think about something other than the ghost-like Bubi, I mustn’t involve her again.

And the people at Lekenes?

Sly, wily questions? And Lillebror? Does he know anything at all? What about the others? No, I’ve promised Vemund not to mention anything about Karin. If I am to win him, then loyalty and confidence is the first commandment. No, there’s nobody here I can ask. Holmestrand? Bode? Yes.

Elisabet had made up her mind. She would have to solve the riddle about Vemund and Karin, not only to satisfy her own curiosity but because it was absolutely essential, for Vemund’s sake – and for the sake of her own love.

Suddenly she felt incredibly strong. This was the strength of the loving women of the Ice People who had always been capable of blowing up bridges and moving mountains. Now Elisabet was one of them!

As he had promised, Vemund dropped by the next day. He was not exactly a ball of fire, his eyes showed that he had a terrific headache and his hands were shaking tremendously. But he came!

Elisabet was upstairs, taking care of Sofie Magdalene. Karin’s voice echoed through the house; she was busy preparing for the christening, and asking Mrs Vaagen twenty times an hour whether the baby was getting enough milk. But Mrs Vaagen was a patient woman who had been told the whole story about Karin by Elisabet – as much as she knew of it.

Dr Hansen had called in the morning and had spoken about the further care of the baby. Elisabet thought that it was very kind of him to come because he did not have to.

Karin had completely forgotten all her troubles. Elisabet had to remind her to take her medicine because her illness was serious in itself – although she was undoubtedly on the mend. Sofie Magdalene’s presence was working wonders! She made a sick, troubled body wake up to new life!

Elisabet was in a confused state of mind. She walked over to the window time and again to see whether anybody was coming, constantly split between hope and disappointment, hoping that nobody would turn up, embarrassed and with a bad conscience. The colour of her face came and went, depending on how the memories struck her; questions were given incoherent replies and baffling looks.

At last, Vemund came. He glanced fleetingly at Elisabet, muttering something that was presumably supposed to be some kind of greeting, and then concentrated fully on Karin and the others. Elisabet saw his eyes circling around her all the time. She herself noticed that she spoke far too loudly and hectically, and hated herself for doing so.

That morning, Vemund had woken up with an almighty hangover. He could hardly lift his head off the pillow. He heard Mrs Aakerstrøm at work in the kitchen and made a great effort to get out of bed.

His aching head was spinning. He could not help wondering whether he had done something forbidden. But what? At the same time, in spite of his terrific headache, there was the most wonderful thought: something blissful lay ahead of him. His memory was shrouded in dark clouds.

Oh, damn his awful hangover!

His troubled gaze reached the bedside table. The decanter. It had been full in the afternoon. There was something about the bed, something he ought to remember ... Vemund took a deep breath.

Elisabet! Good heavens, what might he have done? Her lips against his ... Surely he had not ...?

No, thank heavens he had not! But it had been a narrow escape. He must have been crazy! Unconsciously, he pushed away the decanter and the glass. Never again. What might he not have spoilt! Never again! He owed her that. She did not deserve such awfully bad manners.

He struggled to get to his feet. “Mrs Aakerstrøm, can I have a pail of ice-cold water?” One hour later, he was feeling well enough to be able to stroll down to the town. Because this was something he had promised Elisabet, and breaking a promise to her was absolutely out of the question.

The fresh air did him good. When the worst of the hangover had lifted, his body was filled with heavenly expectation. Every fibre in his body was filled with happiness, strength and the knowledge of his manliness.

Not since his early teens had Vemund had a chance to think of himself as a manly creature. All his yearning in recent years had focused on death. Now he felt that there was a gentle woman in his proximity and that he was a sexual creature.

Gentle ... well, er ... Elisabet Paladin of the Ice People was like a powder keg. But following the accident on the river, he had seen her tired and worn out. That had touched him more than he wanted to admit. He had seen her kindness towards living creatures and he had admired the spirit of her soul. She was a woman worthy of his younger brother, a woman worth loving. He had never felt so strongly for her as when she had rested in his arms, telling him from the bottom of her heart that she did not want to marry Lillebror.

And Vemund? How had he treated her, how had he repaid her confidence? He had thrown himself on her like a wild, frothing animal, following all the instincts that overcame him.

Pig! He was nothing but a drunken pig!

In this frame of mind, Vemund reached the house that he had bought for Karin. Filled with shame and self-reproach and feeling miserable, he stepped inside, hesitated for a moment and continued upstairs. Even while he was on the stairs, he reacted sharply. Karin’s voice ... she sounded so lively! So human, not just speaking a lot of incoherent nonsense. She was confused as usual, but in a different way. The perplexed anxiety about the outside world had vanished.

He stepped into the room.

There was Elisabet! He was overcome by a feeling of warmth and he had to look away. He could not return the serene, shy look in her eyes.

And Karin? The middle-aged woman welcomed him with such eagerness! Her words were all in a jumble. “Vemund: I’m so glad you came. You’re the last one we were waiting for. Dr Hansen, the dear man, says that we can do it on Sunday, and I will wear my cream-coloured dress and I will carry her myself and you and Elisabet will be godmothers, I mean godparents, and Dr Hansen has promised to come, he’s the one who has arranged everything with the vicar, and Mrs Vaagen and Mrs Aakerstrøm ...”

The first thing that struck Vemund was that he and Elisabet had been mentioned together. As godparents. He felt a pang of a hitherto unknown, wonderful feeling of togetherness with a person. The second thing was that Karin’s world was small. This was all she knew! And he was the one who had built such a closed wall around her. But it had been necessary. Now it seemed that she was breaking out of her prison. They all noticed it: there was no Bubi among those whom Karin had invited to Sofie Magdalene’s christening, and none of them had thought of mentioning his name!

The little baby girl lay half asleep and seemed to be doing fine. Even Vemund could see that she was an adorable little child. He did not want to think of the girl’s future now – there were other thoughts that occupied his mind.

At last, Vemund dared to look Elisabet in the eye. His face showed sadness, remorse, a prayer for forgiveness, a search for togetherness, and longing.

All this was something he tried to convey in a single glance.

Elisabet’s trembling smile was an answer in itself. He turned away quickly, but not so quickly that she didn’t have time to see the swift flash of genuine happiness in his face.

Karin was chatting away. “Of course, we’ll have a reception afterwards. With the vicar. Elisabet, do you think we can get hold of a rose-pink silk ribbon for Sofie Magdalene’s hair?”

“Yes, I’ll buy it today. But Miss Karin, don’t you think it would be even better to decorate the christening robe with it? By the way: have we got a christening robe?”

The word “we” made Karin radiate with happiness. Everybody wanted to do the best for her little Sofie Magdalene.

“Mrs Vaagen can get hold of one. Of course, it won’t be as exquisite as it ought to be but we haven’t got the time to sew one now. Vemund, please ask Mrs Aakerstrøm to bake some of her delicious little cakes – you know the ones. The vicar and Dr Hansen must taste them.”

“I’ll tell her straight away,” Vemund said, deadly serious. “Elisabet, would you please join me? There’s a matter regarding repair work on the house that I would like to discuss with you ...”

She followed Vemund down the stairs, looking at his broad shoulders and the curls on his neck, and trembling with forbidden thoughts. Karin’s agitated chatter went on endlessly upstairs. Elisabet was so happy for her. Happy – and concerned.

Downstairs in the hall, Vemund turned her quickly towards him.

“How long do you want this game to go on?” he said.

Elisabet’s heart was beating. “What game?”

“With the child! Get the baby away before there’s an accident!”

Elisabet blurted out: “Are you crazy?”

Vemund replied: “I’m the one who should be asking that question. Surely you realize that Karin can’t take care of a child, after all it’s .... criminal!”

Elisabet looked anxiously up the stairs, then she opened the door to her room, pulled Vemund inside as well and closed the door. “Be careful what you say. She can hear you,” Elisabet said.

“Surely you can’t have a child here!” Vemund said.

Elisabet exploded like a powder keg. She grabbed Vemund’s arms, pressing him pretty roughly up against the wall. “If you take away the child from her now, you’ll tear out her heart! You’ll kill the light in her mind forever. How much is that poor woman supposed to lose before you’re satisfied?”

“Can’t you see that she is about to wake up?” Vemund said, more reasonably. “If she begins to realize what happened back then ...”

“Vemund, I’ve no idea what happened with her Bubi because when it comes to that, you leave me groping in the dark. Can’t you see what might happen now?”

“Yes, she might get her memory back, which will be like a slap in the face.”

Elisabet replied: “No! She and the baby have bonded so much that that damned Bubi means nothing any more. The unbearable memory of him will turn into indifference.”

Vemund thought about what Elisabet had just said. She hurried to convince him even more: “Karin hasn’t mentioned him once since the little baby girl came into this house.”

Vemund said: “Karin is completely unable to take care of a child. She’s the most selfish person I know. It’s wrong for the child!”

Elisabet said: “She’s trying, Vemund! She’s slogging away for the little mite! No, I know very well what you want to say – that it’s only an idea she got into her head and that it will never work in the long run! How do you know? Perhaps the baby is precisely what Karin has missed all through her life? Somebody who needs her. We must help Karin as best we can. You and I and Dr Hansen and Mrs Vaagen and Mrs Aakerstrøm. Can’t you see how many good helpers she has? Little Sofie Magdalene won’t lack for anything, and don’t you tell me that Karin will harm the child! Never ever! I don’t think she’ll ever get tired of her as if she were a game. Haven’t you seen the look in her eyes when she gazes at the child?”

“Oh, Elisabet, you’re so naïve. It’s all very well, but what do you think will happen when Karin’s memory comes back and she is reminded of the horrible event that happened to her? Thank goodness she has forgotten her Bubi, but she loved him once – and I’ll never forgive myself – just as intensely as she loves the child now. And the memory, Elisabet! What happened then ... It was so abysmal that the mere thought makes me sick. She must not go through it again!”

“Were you there at the time?” Elisabet asked.

Vemund shuddered. “Yes,” he said bitterly. “That’s exactly what I was, and I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

Well, then for goodness sake tell me what happened, Elisabet thought, but she knew that he would never do so.

“It’s more important than ever before that Karin should get away from here,” he said. “Both she and Lillebror, with you, to Elistrand, that blessed, protected place of goodness and warmth.”

“My mother isn’t the most easy-going person on earth, but you’re right, Vemund. She has a heart of gold and her kindness is never in doubt when it comes to taking care of the unfortunate. She might not always have behaved all that gently and kindly towards my dear great-grandfather, but then he wasn’t one of the unfortunate. I’m sure he could be a devil from time to time ...”

Vemund smiled wryly. “You and your father are the best people I know. I trust you entirely.”

“Thank you. And you, Vemund? How has the new turn of affairs regarding Karin influenced your decision?”

He leaned his back against the wall and closed his eyes. He drew her closer to him with his arms tenderly around her waist. Elisabet willingly snuggled up to him.

“It hasn’t influenced anything,” he whispered. “My crime and my pain remain unchanged.”

“You don’t want to live then?” Elisabet asked.

“I would have given anything to try to win you. But I haven’t the energy or the will to live, Elisabet. I can’t face living with the inescapable truth.”

Elisabet rested her head on his chest in quiet sadness. “So you are selling me to your brother?”

Vemund did not give an answer because he had no answer to give. But Elisabet could feel against her temple that he was swallowing heavily.

They stood there silently; she was so sad, leaning into him while his hand slowly stroked her chestnut hair. The tender mood only lasted a moment.

Karin shouted from the top of the stairs: “Elisabet! Will you be on your way to buy that rose silk ribbon now?”

Elisabet opened the door out to the hall. “Yes, I’m on my way, Miss Karin.”

Vemund pulled Elisabet to him once more. “I hear that you’ve taken her for a walk almost every day,” he said, and he did not sound gentle. “You must stop that. What if she meets somebody she knows.”

“Such as, say, Bubi?” Elisabet said.

Vemund said: “Don’t be stupid. Anybody could trigger her memories.”

I’ll do as I want, Elisabet thought to herself. Vemund is a wonderful man but often he’s not the wisest man in the world. After all, a woman in love has the right to be able to glean that much.

“By the way, Vemund, I have to make a journey home to my parents at Elistrand. It’s important.”

He hesitated. He obviously did not want to let her go. “How long will that take?”

How long would it take to journey to Holmestrand – where she was to inquire into Bode – and back?

“Perhaps three days. Mrs Vaagen lives here and if I can leave tomorrow, I’ll be back in good time before the christening on Sunday.”

Vemund nodded. “I’ll inform the others and Karin so you won’t have any difficulties with her. But what do the people at Lekenes say about it?”

Oh, I couldn’t care less, Elisabet thought indifferently. “We didn’t arrange another visit. And Vemund! You must be here when I return!”

He understood her unspoken prayer – that he should go on living. “I’ll be here, Elisabet. My task won’t be fulfilled until Karin and Lillebror are safely at Elistrand.”

“You mustn’t talk like that,” she said uneasily. He held her head against his neck once more.

“Did you notice the mirror?” he asked, sounding concerned. His voice vibrated in her head. “She had moved it. From the light into the darkest corner.”

“Yes, that was worrying,” Elisabet replied. “Karin no longer liked what she saw. She didn’t want to see what she suspected – the fact that the young girl was gone forever. That’s why she wanted a dimmer light that was less revealing.”

“That was precisely my conclusion. She’s waking up. Elisabet, she’s waking up! And I’m scared stiff!”